The notion of personality change is something most of us think about at some point during our lives particularly as we contemplate times when we have failed or let ourselves, or others, down. During periods of depression, which are not as uncommon as people think, or times of stress, the thought that if we were only different or if we were like that person who seems so happy, we might get through this? For people with emotional problems or low self-esteem, ‘who they are’ can often be a constant source of pain as ‘who they are’ is never quite good enough.

People who do undergo dramatic life experiences may exhibit radical personality change because of it. Near death experiences often produce massive shifts in a person’s consciousness towards acceptance, gratitude and an appreciation of life and all its beauty. The realisation of the importance of each moment enables them to cast aside negative aspects of themselves and focus more on friendships, relationships with family members and a general enjoyment of life.

We don’t need to change our personality to become different people or become the person we want to be. That person is already there and has always been. As we come to accept ourselves more, we come to accept and even prefer the aspects of ourselves that we once wanted to be rid of, because it’s those aspects that set us apart from everyone else. They make us unique. We cannot run away from who we are and trying to only leads to endless frustration or worse.

We have an essential nature that we are born with and it is finely balanced like a scale pivoting in a neutral position. Upon this pivot is an arm set perfectly straight because nothing as yet has made any impact upon it. At each end of the arm is a positive and negative pole.

According to the experiences we have, this arm tips in favour one way or the other. If we meet with good experiences such as abundant support, encouragement and success then our personality will develop more positive weight resulting in more confidence, courage, optimism, kindness, and love as we show the best and most productive aspects of ourselves.

If we have a number of bad experiences such as a lack of love or support, physically abuse, isolation, then there will be more leaning toward the negative pole and thus we may exhibit more negative aspects of our inherent personality, fear, anger, pessimism, worthlessness, loneliness etc.

Throughout life we are moving backwards and forwards trying to balance these factors and the influences from our external world as we learn what it is to be a human being interacting with other human beings.

Our natural personality is always there but we may or may not be expressing it in the most favourable ways. There is, however, the ever present possibility to tip the scales from negative to positive through consciously practicing the numerous strategies of self-development. Every small effort has power in it. The potential for positive expression is backed by the will of the universe which itself is toward growth, expansion, love and success. What we can do is learn to express the most positive aspects of ourselves. Appreciating ‘who we are’ leads to a natural attitude of self-worth, personal charisma and a real joy in being alive. This way we become the person we have always wanted to be; the person we are meant to be.